Apr 26, 2020

Guestlist – Who Do You Invite To Your Wedding

Whom to Invite to Your Wedding – Guestlist Ideas

When you are planning your wedding, there are lots of things that will require some deep thinking. Amongst those is the question of who gets to come to your wedding. (and who you’ll be deleting from your life forever!) Just kidding!


Contrary to your fears and unlike what you’ve seen in all those Bridezilla movies, people are often quite understanding when it comes to whether they can come to your big celebration or not. Especially if you get it right with your invites.

So, how do you get the guestlist right? How can you make sure that the people that you invite are the right mix? They most certainly need to be fun, exciting, and know how to party, am I right? We Swedes are, after all, known to throw a good party when it comes to our weddings. So here are a few tips that you can use to make up your mind. And just ignore those people that are happy to make it known that they’re unhappy with your guestlist!

Save The Date Card with Calligraphy Text in blue and red

  • Family Members

Family members here refers to both you and your partner’s families. Depending on your budget, you may be able to invite as many as them as they are available to attend. But where you are restrained by your budget and want to have a good time, you might have to choose. So, when faced with a list of your family members, start by asking yourself, which amongst them you really want at your wedding. Which of them knows how to have a good time and makes you happy when they are around? How about the great-grandaunt that you haven’t seen since you were 10? Is it essential that she show up? Talk with your partner, your parents, and your partner’s parents. They could help you figure the guestlist out.

  • Divorced Parents

Yeah, this is a tough one. Are your parents divorced but on good terms with each other? Inviting divorced parents with or without new spouses is naturally something you would want to but talk with all involved parties about. Just to make sure there won’t be any uncomfortable scenes on your big day or stir up trouble. Emotions run high anyways at a wedding, so you’ve definitely don’t want to add extra nerves or old grudges into the mix.

  • Friends

The people most likely to have a good time and help you have a fabulous time at your wedding are your friends. Fun friends are a must on the guestlist of course! Friends that you and your partner share might help even more in this regard. If you, however, have a best friend who hasn’t met your partner yet because they stay far away, invite them to the party if that would make you happy. Your happiness is what is key here. Don’t feel obligated to invite anyone just because they bear the title of friend, though. If, for example, you haven’t really heard from them in more than a year and you’re not sure you know them anymore, feel free to cut them from your guestlist.

Wedding Guestlist

  • Kids At Your Wedding

Whether or not to have kids at your wedding is a tricky decision. Do you picture a fun ceremony with children running around and laughing happily? If yes, then awesome, go right ahead. But you might also want to include someone like a nanny for your wedding so that parents can have some unfettered time to enjoy themselves too. If the thought of children crying and making a mess, however, gives you the heebie-jeebies, you can go for an “adults only” wedding guestlist. You could additionally put an age cap if the only problem you envision is disruptive wailing babies. Something like: Age 14 and above allowed or really tiny babies that are still breastfeeding. Just make sure that you include this information clearly on your invitations so that parents have plenty of time to get a babysitter.

  • Plus-Ones

Plus-ones are a funny part of your wedding guestlist. Your playboy cousin Jimmy swears that his 13th girlfriend, which he met last week, is the one, so she must come with him to your wedding. Then there’s cousin Mark, who has had a steady girlfriend for 4 years. It’s up to you at this point, but a blanket rule often helps. You can say, for example, that only people who have been with their partner for 6 months and above can bring them (Sorry cousin Jimmy!)  

  • Distant or Estranged Relatives

We mentioned your great-grandaunt, which you hadn’t spoken to in 10 years before. How do you feel about having great-grandaunt Betty at your wedding? If your budget can carry more people and you feel like, go right ahead. It is usually a good idea to include as many relatives as you can on your guestlist. It makes for a beautiful, fun reunion with laughter. Unless said relative has a history of causing family drama in which case you should probably pretend, they don’t exist.

  • Exes

This one can be a bit tricky. In case the exes are likely to create drama and ruin things, do you really want them there? If your partner has a decent relationship with them, however, and they have a child together, a discussion might have to happen about this one. Or if they’re reasonable and you’re okay with it, sure why not? Will things be likely to go downhill, how about having a grandparent or another close relative bring the child to your wedding if you don’t mind?

  • Wedding Party’s Family

Do you have to invite the parents of your maid of honor? The simple answer is no. You are under no obligation to. If you, however, know and like them and think that they’ll contribute to everyone having a great time, by all means, send them an invitation!

  • Your Boss

How close are you to your boss? Can you be yourself and have a relaxed experience with the boss present? If you had to participate in say a drinking game at your reception, are you worried it might change their perception of you? If the answer to the last question is yes, you know what to do. They are not going to be included on the guestlist! If you, however, have a good relationship with them outside work and feel they’re cool and would make a great addition, invite them! However, most people do leave their bosses off the list, though.

  • Your Coworkers

With coworkers, you have to understand that when you open the issue of invites to your wedding, it could be complicated. People will overhear and want in on the guestlist. Your wedding is yours, though, so it’s okay to not invite those you are not too comfortable with. Just have it at the back of your mind that it could be a weird issue to overcome at work. 

Now everything is crystal clear, right? Just kidding! But you could, and most certainly should invite whomever you want to your wedding. After all, it is just that, YOUR wedding!

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